Saturday, February 19, 2005 5:18 PM
Requiem for a webmaster: Cyber-suicide.
by RedShoe
Are you dying? Will you be here tomorrow? Is your business
not doing as well as it was? Are things going so well, that
you can't see beyond your own fate? I own Requiem for a dream.
If you haven't seen it and you like dark movies, I'd recommend
you see it. It's very depressing, but the editing and visuals
are off the chain. Dictionary.com defines requiem as a "mass
for the dead". Would requiem for a webmaster imply that
we are dying? Perhaps. But since I only know myself and I
have apparently been grossly miscalculating strategic moves,
I decided to see if I could change a few things. I'm going
to do a little experiment as I write this, and see If I can
change myself.
The 6 P's.
Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance. Words to live
by. There are a lot of little sayings and anecdotes that you
just sometimes remember. Some you follow, others you simply
quote. "The early bird catches the worm" I've been
up till the crack of dawn... many.. many times I haven't caught
shit. I still struggle daily just to stay where I am. I guess
that would just be a phrase that I quote.
Let's break it down a little. Prior Planning. I can't even begin
to tell you that there have been many times where I get an idea
and jut run with it. Like one of my websites (which shall remain
nameless, this isn't about promoting my site). I didn't research
the field properly and just started to put together what I thought
would sell. I soon learned that it's not about me... it's about
several things:
- Does this niche sell?
- Do I know enough about this niche to efficiently make
a sell?
- Who are the customers?
- Where will I get traffic?
- Is this niche over saturated?
The point is, I didn't ask myself any of those questions or
any questions for that matter, and I just started doing it.
I built the site and had it online without really thinking about
any of those questions. I had no idea if the niche I chose was
even making sales. A little bit of research would have saved
me a lot of time and effort, which in turn equals money.
Piss Poor Performance. There have been times when I was convinced
I was doing everything that I could to remedy my situation.
I redesigned, I built galleries, I pushed, I bought traffic,
but the dead shall not rise. My site is just barely crawling
around on the internet, not like some top dogs that were zooming
around at lightning fast speeds. My site just seems to be
sitting on the side of the information superhighway with it's
thumb out waiting to hitch a ride. And sadly no one is stopping
to pick up my little site. The site struggled for a long time,
and I blamed the site. Why? Because the site sucked? No. And
here is the meat of this article. It wasn't my site. It was
me.
I didn't do any prior planning because I didn't know then
what I know now. When I started this article, I stopped a
little after the 6 P's. A couple of months have passed and
the biggest change of my online career has happened. Here
is what I learned:
My site's performance was not shit because I didn't plan,
it was because it was simply an extension of myself. The site
failed, because I failed. It took a long time to realize that
it was me. I felt like an alcoholic, where the first stage
is denial. The wierd part was it affected me, in that I became
really depressed. I wasn't sure what was going on. I had no
desire to do anything. But in time the mask of happiness soon
ripped and bottom of my cyber room caved in. I fell and hit
bottom. Hitting bottom is both a relief and scary at the same
time. You're not exactly sure what to do next. And just like
the alcoholic, admitting you have a problem is the first step.
When you crash and you are lying at the bottom looking up,
suddenly this fear that all your peers will reject you overwhelms
you. You become afraid to say anything to anybody. But also
as you are lying there you realize that there is only one
way out of your rut, and that's up. They will either reject
you, or accept you, that's it. All you can do is hope for
the best.
Admitting I had failed was the biggest step in the process
of recovery. It was then, that I realized that not only was
I going about the sites all wrong. I was approaching everything
in life incorrectly. It really made me see things from a different
angle. The first thing I did was went to a few boards and
announced my failure. If anything it was simply to just get
the weights off my chest. Once you hit "submit"
on the post screen, it's out there. There is no going back.
The post is made and you just have to wait and see. Now here
is the funny thing about admitting that you've failed, is
that you're not alone. Whether they admit it or not, it seems
that a lot of people have gone thru what you have or at the
very least they just have an incredible sense of understanding
and compassion. Why should they care? Another webmaster dead
and out of the way just leaves more for everyone else right?
Not true. I think they realize that I was at the bottom and
thus not making any sales anyway. LOL. You're really not much
of a competitor from the bottom.
The response was incredible. It's the acceptance of your
peers that gives you the strength to bounce back. It really
means a lot when they encourage you. Since then, I have restructured
my entire life. Not just my online life. I'm eating healthier,
I no longer stay up until the crack of dawn looking for the
worm. Now instead of going to bed at 5 am, I go to bed at
around midnight (and no it's not because I'm an old man),
and wake up several hours earlier and get twice as much work
done and spend the exact same amount of time at the keys.
After you die, and are reborn into the cyber world, and after
you are accepted by your peers your depression is lifted and
you start to see opportunities where before you simply looked
them over. Doors open that were once closed. I'm doing better
now than I ever have. I have a few sites in developmental
research, and yes I'm practicing the 6 P's.
I wouldn't recommend cyber-suicide to everyone. In fact it's
only when you've hit bottom than you realize there is no other
way. Unlike a real suicide, this one you can grow and learn
from. Nothing lasts forever. If you are in a rut, just chill
for a few days, look at yourself and your actions from a different
point of view. Are you really doing everything you can? The
answer is always "no." You can always do something
different and pull yourself up. Or at the very least share
yourself with a few thousand of your closest online webmasters
and see what they say, they may surprise you like they did
me. This industry has many avenues for you to take. Choose
one (or a few) and make the best of it. Do your research,
and above all else remain mentally healthy.
-RedShoe
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